Today when I was dishing my scrambled eggs onto my plate, I dropped some onto the floor. My instinct was to call our dogs into the kitchen. But Max has been gone for two years and Molly for almost one. Both dogs were over 16 years old when they left us.  I cried a little while I ate my eggs, taking a moment to acknowledge their absence.

Max left us suddenly. I was making the bed one night and he was waiting patiently for me to finish so I could lift him up so he could take his place at the end of the bed. I heard the scrambling of his paws on the floor and held him (while I screamed uncontrollably) as he had what was most likely a heart attack.

Molly would eventually die of old age and possibly a broken heart. As she became more and more frail, we started to talk about ‘the end’ and how and when ‘the end’ was going to be for her. We decided that we would have the vet come to our house when the time came. Like most animals, she hated going to the vet and I just couldn’t bare her last moments being under that kind of distress. Last March, Molly stopped eating and drinking. We tried to give it a couple of days but she just wouldn’t bounce back. One day after school, I just knew it was time. I called the vet in a panic as I couldn’t let her suffer for a second longer. 

The vet couldn’t make a house call until the next day but I could take her in. I was so stressed that I booked the appointment. When I hung up the phone and sat with Molly I reminded myself that I had a plan and I needed to stick to that plan.  I called them back, cancelled the appointment, and had them come the next day. We said goodbye to our sweet Molly in the most peaceful and private way and I am SO thankful that I didn’t panic and make a decision I would have regretted.

Because both of our dogs passed when the ground was frozen, we were unable to use our backyard as a pet cemetary. This would have been a really nice free (possibly illegal?) option. Instead, we had both dogs ‘privately cremated’ for the cost of a weekend vacation for five. It was the right decision for us at the time and the dogs now proudly sit on a shelf in our family room.

I think of Max and Molly often and wonder if we will ever get another dog. We got Sammy, our cat, when both dogs were still with us as I can’t imagine not having some kind animal life energy in our house. Sammy is strictly an indoor cat as I lost my first two cats as a child to the busy street we lived on. HOW SAD! RIP Sam and Casper.

How have you said goodbye to your pets?

Do you have a plan for the end?

A bit more…

Buzzfeed posted 25 Stories About People’s Last Day With Their Pet That’ll Make You Cry

Martha Stewart wrote this Saying Goodbye to Your Pet (apparently my title was unoriginal)

Saying Goodbye: 8 Ways to Prepare and Cope with Pet Loss